Yeah, a long time without posting anything. And yeah, today I will write in English. Probably because I am drunk and want to see how I do it. I will most likely read this tomorrow and be sorry for all the mistakes that I am making. Yes, I am also talking about my life, but mostly about grammar mistakes...

Almost hitting the point of 7 more weeks left here in US. Oh, well, I don't wanna think about it. It freaks me out. I Don't know, so many emotions put close together, that I can't just figure them out. Happiness, sadness, fear, excitement. Okay, great. Now I am writting in Italic and I tried to fix it, but I can't. Which fucking button did I hit?

I just had a bad day. Sometimes it suprises me to notice how people tend to think that I am always happy when I am really not. I get sad for so many things, so many unimportant shit. So much energy spent for nothing. Really. A lack of confidence, someone would say. And I would agree. It is just that I can't change it. Isn't it funny that we are so uninpotent that we can't change the very little things that we want to be different? It is so easy to change the world, to embrace revolutionary theories, but it is so difficult to work on our own personality. I wish I was tougher, meaner, that I didn't expect much of people like I do. I wish I was more crazy, that I didn't care about anyone and anything and I didn't get involved as I do. Most of all, that I didn't feel this intense need of feeling loved. But I am like that and it seems that I just can't chang it.

Live every moment like if it was the last one, laugh everyday, don't worry, be happy. Easy to say, isn't it? But it is hard to put in practice. I am having the best time of my life, but keep worrying about the same stupid things, missing the same things, waiting for someone that will never be mine (and keeps lying that he will).

Well, just confused about me, the world and the real intentions of people that surround me. Maybe I shouldn't even care about that. But I do. And I can't chang it.